Student Life

Phew. My last post was in 2013 huh? Looking back at this blog, I feel like I was so much of a different person back then. I forgot that I loved writing and updating this blog so much in those days.

So much has changed since then. Nowadays, I'm so much different. Not sure in a good way or a bad way. Because life situation now is so much different than before

Now I'm in my 6th - 7th year of my working career as a banker. Can you believe it? And it is so much different than life as a student. Gosh I missed those days. Life was so fun, care-free and exciting. My university life is definitely the prime time of my life as I experience the best moments during those years.

Nowadays, I'm ashamed to say that I am depressed most of the time. Most probably due to stressful workload and partially due to Covid-19. I haven't gone back to see my mum in almost a year due to lockdown. 

Being an adult is so freaking hard. I don't know about you, but when I was a kid/teen, I've always wanted to be an adult as soon as possible since I want to be independent. I can play all the games I want, I can buy all the fast food I want, I can go out whenever I want, without having parents to tell you about your limits. 

But now as an adult, I realized that independence comes with a price. When I was a kid, I forgot that being independent means that you also need to make your own money. No more living off your parents'. And making money is not easy. Harder than I could've imagined. I've stopped receiving money from my parents since I joined Uni, since I was forunate to have a scholarship. And I have started to give my parents money since I started working.

Living on your own is a challenge that every adult must overcome. You have to be self-disciplined and have self-control. You need to learn to take care of yourself. Believe it or not, even living by myself for the past 6-7 years, I still struggle with those basic necessities. I have times where I have trouble with managing my finances. I have problems with balancing work and personal life. I have problems with containing addictions.  These are the things that teen-me would never have thought of back in the days. These responsibilities can really take a toll on you when you don't know how to manage them.

Wait, I didn't expect that I would write this long. It's already 2.30AM and I still feel like I wanted to write more. And tomorrow is a working day (WFH btw). I just forgot how enjoying and relieving it is to write and just express my feeling at the moment.

I think I would stop here and continue writing more soon. This may just be the way to solve my personal problems that I have been facing recently. Thanks to my two friends who I was playing Rocket League with just now as they suddenly brought out the topic of blogs and I just remembered that I had one back in the day. I spontaneously searched it and was kinda surpised that the page is still alive. Some posts were still getting views from random people somehow. I was so embarassed to share my blog link to my friends since I think that my blog posts back then will be so cringy to read through today lol.

Well, I can't hide the fact that that was the old me. A side of me that I forgot I was, until today.

Thanks for reading whoever you are, and good night.